Mom vs. Xbox

There it was!

Staring back at me as if to ask "What are ya gonna do about it, huh?" A big fat zero on my son's math homework assignment... again. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but instead I immediately started rubbing the back of my neck, which is exactly what I do when I feel stressed. Let me tell ya, stressed? Oh yes!

Honestly, I really was feeling hopeful as I logged onto my son's school web site that day to check his grades for the week.

Yes, his grades had been slipping the last couple of weeks.

Yes, Keith & I had taken appropriate steps and removed some of our son's privileges as a consequence.

Yes, we told my son that we are so proud of him and he could do so much better.

Yes, he was sorry and apologized.

So what's up with the big zero? It wasn't as if he did the assignment and got a low grade. He didn't even turn the assignment in! I thought he had learned his lesson this time. What about that long talk we had regarding poor choices and consequences to actions. I thought he understood.

As I continued to rub my neck, I began thinking about that dang Xbox which has been occupying way too much of my son's time and attention. All if his friends play too and it's become a (slightly addictive - in my opinion) social networking activity. What ever happened to "come on over and let's play football in the yard"?

It was time this "stealth" mom to take action.

I called a close friend who's son plays Xbox with my son and confided in her about our little problem. She confessed that she was having the exact same struggles with her son. Together, we came up with a plan to limit the amount of time our boys could play Xbox and agreed to pray for one another. When my husband came home from work, I shared with him too all that had transpired. We prayed together and decided to talk with our son later on that day.

When our son came home from school, we all sat down and talked about his grades, our concerns about Xbox and the new rules of play moving forward. We allowed him to ask questions and explain his side of the story. Most importantly we told him that our decisions made after much prayer, discussion and the fact that we loved him and wanted the very best for him. We told he that he may not agree with our decision but that he would have to trust our love for him.

Amazingly, he understood and agreed with us about everything! God was definitely at work and we were so thankful that this situation brought us closer together as a family and didn't cause division or anger.

I'm so glad that God allows the little inconveniences like Xbox and incomplete assignments to help mold and shape us into the loving and obedient family He longs us to be.

Home Sweet Home

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat.

It wasn't because my husband turned up the thermostat too high or that I'm having premenopausal hot flashes. It was because I had a bad dream.

Actually, many people would consider it to be a really good dream - but not me. I dreamed that we sold our home.

About a month ago, my husband and I made the difficult decision to put our house up for sale. When we purchased it two years ago the our grand idea was that it would be a great investment opportunity. Our big plan was to fix it up, stay in it for two years and then sell. Sounds really good, right? I totally was on board with the idea from the get go.

There's just one problem though.

As much as I tried not to. As much as I told myself "Leah, don't get attached. " As much as I worked at staying focused on our big plan, something unexpected happened. When we began to spruce up our new investment, it no longer was just a house that we were living in. It became our home...Home Sweet Home.

Fun family activities began to take place.

Special conversations and wonderful life moments occurred.

Great memories were created.

God's presence filled each room, nook and cranny.

Home Sweet Home.

In the back of my mind, I whispered to myself and to God. Maybe our family business will continue to grow and we can actually stay in our home. Maybe God, you'll do something amazing and we can live here until our boys go off to college. Then I'll be ready to move,I promise! But, not just yet, God. Not just yet.

While I secretly dreamed and planned of staying, uncontrollable events began to happen. We were greatly affected by the economical down slope like so many of you. Instead of our family business thriving it became stagnant. Instead of our bank accounts and investments increasing, they started to decrease.

The decision time came.

The moment I dreaded.

Our home would be put on the market for sale.

Home Sweet Home.

Have tears been shed? Absolutely! Have I become more emotional? No doubt! Have I pleaded with God? You know it!

Something I've noticed through this process is how differently Keith and I are reacting to our current situation. He is excited and ready for the next house, the next move, the next experience. Yet, I'm sad, discouraged and desperately holding on to the past memories and our home. I'm not interested in moving or make any changes. I'm totally frustrated, thank you very much!

I've asked God to show me the reason why I'm reacting so differently than Keith is to the sale of our home. He's revealing to me through His word that the difference is found in our attitudes and thoughts. Although that has been really hard for me to accept, it's the absolute truth.

Keith is always ready for a new adventure with God. He always believes that if God chooses to take away something, He does so only to give us something better. Keith has the right attitude and thoughts.

I, on the other hand, struggle with doubt. Although I know that God's plan is good and daily read promises about his faithfulness to those he loves, I still struggle. I secretly think that God is some how holding out on us. Even though I know better, the thoughts still come and find residence in my mind. I have the wrong attitude and thoughts.

Remember that dream I was telling you about and the cold sweats this morning? My first reaction was to quietly climb out of bed, grab my bible and head for my cozy prayer chair in our family living room. It was there that I cried, questioned God's plan once again and ask Him to give me a verse that I could hold onto.

I flipped through my bible and ended up in Isaiah 43 where the following words jumped off the page.

Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert & streams in the wastelands.
Isaiah 43: 18-19

God is doing a new thing in my life. The key is that I need to stop dwelling in the past and perceive what He is doing today. I need to change my attitude and thoughts.

God is doing a new thing in your life too. Are you dwelling on the past like me? Do you want to hold onto things as they are right now? Are you afraid of change and doubtful that God will make something new for you? He is making a way in your desert and streams in your wasteland. Now it springs up, do you not see it?

Let's commit to trust Him together. Let's decide that today we will keep our thoughts focused on His goodness and promises. That our attitudes would be pleasing to him. Let's keep our eyes open to the new things that he is doing for us. I don't want to miss it, do you?

I want God to not only be a part of my life but to be my life. That he would fill every room of my body, soul and spirit. Every nook and cranny.

That He would be my home.

Home Sweet Home.

Farewell to Clark Rogers

Today Clark Rogers received the ultimate healing and went to meet with the Lord face to face this morning.

I was stunned when we got the news and although we had never met Clark, I grieved as is he was a good friend of the family. Honesty, he was a good friend of the family - the family of Christ.

I spent this morning trying really hard to busy myself with other things but as I folded clothes in my laundry room, still shocked from the news, I began to ask God why.

I started to reminisce about Friday's service and how awesome it was, Over 800 people showed up and the atmosphere was one of celebration not sadness. Over $25,000 was raised within 3 hours, which would go towards paying Clark's medical bills. The praise and worship was awesome.

I thought about the video clip we saw of Clark & Lisa which was taped just that morning. Although Clark looked very pale and thin, he was smiling from ear to ear and had an obvious sparkle in his eyes.

I told God " ya know, I thought we were attending a healing service" and he responded by saying "Leah, you attended a farewell party".

A smile came to my face as I thought about Clark's bigger than life personality. He wouldn't have wanted to say good bye any other way. I have no doubt that his celestial celebration in heaven is beyond our wildest imaginations.

Will Clark Rogers be missed?

Absolutely!

Did Clark receive his ultimate healing?

Absolutely!

Is Jesus Bigger than cancer?

Absolutely!

Jesus is Bigger than Cancer

Last night our family went to a benefit for Clark and Lisa Rogers. No one in my family actually knows Clark and Lisa. In fact, up until last night, we had no idea what they even looked like. Yet, we felt drawn to go to this event anyway.


Clark Rogers was involved in youth ministry at our church long before we joined The Cove. He is described as a very gifted man who is passionate about Jesus Christ. Last year, Clark was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer and has been in a battle for his life ever since. Clark refuses to give up the fight and when asked what he thinks, his response is "Jesus is bigger than cancer". What a powerful and truth filled proclamation!

Five churches in the Charlotte area hosted the benefit. The evening consisted of a silent auction and concert that lasted 3 hours. All to help raise money for Clark's medical bills. Almost 1000 people showed up. At one point, a video of Clark & Lisa was shown which was taped earlier in the day from his hospital room. While we all enjoyed the concert, Clark was in surgery.

One by one, people got up and shared how Clark's love for Christ had made a profound impact in their lives. How their lives had been radically changed and how God used Clark to lead each one of them to Christ.

At one point, a pastor asked for people to raise their hands if they knew someone that had been diagnosed or died of cancer. Hundreds of hands went up, including mine and Keith's.

Keith's dad died of lung cancer in his early forties. He worked in an asbestos factory for many years and his life was cut short by this dreaded disease. He left behind a loving wife and two teenage boys.

My dad is currently fighting lymphatic cancer, Just this week he had to undergo a pet-scan, cat-scan, and bone scan. He has been told that the cancer is back and has spread to other parts of his body.

Do you know someone who is battling cancer or maybe who has actually died from cancer? I bet you do.

Guess what? God knows the cure for cancer. He knows what causes cancer and who will be diagnosed with cancer. Over a half a million people in the United States alone will die of cancer this year. He knows each one of them by name

God is bigger than cancer!

I understand now why Clark Rogers has impacted so many peoples lives. As we watched the video of him, I was blown away by the indescribable joy that radiated from his weak pale face. It reminded me of a scripture verse in Proverbs 18: 14 which says "A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? "

Although Clark's body is being crushed, his spirit is not.

Although Clark's body is weak and frail, the power of the Almighty God dwells within him.

I have no doubt that if you'd ask Clark Rogers what he would rather have:

A Jesus-filled life with cancer (or)

A cancer-free life without Jesus, he would definitely say,

A Jesus-filled life with cancer!

Why?

Because Jesus is bigger than cancer!

http://www.weloveclarkrogers.com/

Roller Coaster Ride of Emotions

Have you ever wondered why God gave you so many emotions? I sure do.

I often find myself on a roller coaster ride of emotions and I’m amazed at how quickly I can shift from one extreme to the other. Today is one of those emotional days.

As I type, I’m sitting in an airplane at 38,000 feet in the air. Renee and I are traveling to California for a women’s event which has been in the works for almost a year. I’ve looked forward to this day for so many months and spent the last week planning out all the details for my time away.

Today should be a day of nothing but joy, excitement and big expectations. However, there’s more that lies beneath the surface of my smiling face. My emotions of excitement and expectation are forced to share their space with others in my heart. Ones called uncertainty, sadness and regret.

Although I’m headed to California today, my 80 year old father is headed to the hospital for a Cat-Scan. This test will determine how much cancer is in his body. My father was diagnosed over 2 years ago with Lymphatic cancer. All last year he went through treatments. He has had 6 months of remission but today the doctors will check to see if the cancer has returned.

Although I’m headed to California today, my 76 year old mother is headed to a nursing home where she will become their newest residence. She has been sick for a very long time and my father has lovingly and sacrificially taken care of her each and every day. Although their love for each other has sustained them though many challenges in their marriage, it’s not enough to free her from the disease that holds her body and mind in bondage.

Although I’m headed to California, my husband is headed to Florida for a long week of work. Due to the bad economy, he has been without a steady job for over a year. We have prayed that God would provide some work for him in our community but that has not happened yet. Instead he will be away while I’m away, leaving our two boys with friends for the weekend.

My mind and emotions are so torn. Although I want to be right here, on my way to sunny California, a part of me really wants to be home with my two boys since my husband is away.

I also wish I could be with my father, driving him to the hospital and sitting with him as he has his test and gets the results from his doctor.

Then there’s my mom. I long to be with her too. To comfort her during this very difficult and confusing time. To calm her fears and hold her when she cries.

So many thoughts and emotions are swimming around in my brain. I feel very overwhelmed yet I know exactly what I need to do with all those thoughts and feelings.
I need to take them to Jesus and ask him to help me - to process each emotion separately. I need to surrender my thoughts, fears and concerns to him. I need him to remind me that there is nothing the two of us can’t handle together.

He knew in advance that I would be in California this weekend, ministering to a large group of women. Although these unexpected events were a surprise to me, they were not to Him.

I can rest assured in knowing that he ordained this day and weekend for me before the foundation of the world. That he is taking care of every detail and although I can’t be with my family right now, He is!

Believing these truths places such peace in my heart. I don’t have to worry about the what if’s and the whys and the unknowns? He has gone before me to make the rough paths smooth. (Isaiah 42:16)

I have learned that I can only find true comfort and peace in him alone. He is my source of strength and stability. He is my rock and my shelter when I need to find refuge from life’s storms.

This doesn’t mean that I dig my head in the sand and pretend like all the circumstances of my life will go away. It doesn’t mean that I turn my back on loved ones and think that they don’t need my help. It means that I walk in confidence knowing that Christ has carved a path before me and that he is by my side every step of the way.

My Interstate Angel

I remember it as if it was yesterday…

I was 9 months pregnant with our youngest son and on my way home from an appointment which was in downtown Tampa. I was traveling on Interstate 75 at a high speed and following a open bed dump truck. Something from the back of the truck flew out and was headed right for my car. I didn't have time to react. All I could do was brace for the impact and pray that this flying object wouldn't hit my windshield. Thankfully it didn't but instead it hit the ground and I ran right over it.

The result was a major blow out. I was able to hold onto the wheel long enough to pull off to the side of the road. After I gathered my thoughts, I looked up and realized I was in a very bad section of town. The closest exit was about 4 blocks away. I would need to cross over 4 lanes of cars, at racing speeds, just to get on the right shoulder of the interstate.

I decided to stay put and call my husband, Keith at work. He was about 45 minutes away but I felt it would be safer to just wait for him and not try to find a pay phone. I reached for my purse to get my cell phone. A wave of fear came over me when I realized I didn't have it with me. No phone. No Keith. No rescue.

Plan B was now my only option. I got out of the car and waited for what seemed like an eternity to cross over to the other side of the interstate. I kept thinking to myself "how on earth am I going to make it to the other side with my big 9 month belly flopping around in front if me!" The cars were flying past at top speeds and way too close together. I began to loose hope in crossing over at all. With tears welling up in my eyes, I silently cried out to Jesus and said "I need you.... RIGHT NOW!. Please come and rescue me!"

Less than 60 seconds after I whispered those words, a beat up utility truck pulling an open bed trailer pulled onto the shoulder of the road right across from me. A middle aged man got out, grabbed what looked like a large old tool box and ran across four lanes of traffic. As he came towards me, I noticed that his trailer was full of tires.

Upon his approach, he asked me where my spare was. I showed him and he immediately began to change my shredded tire for the brand new one that was securely stored away in the trunk of my car. He didn't say a word as he worked and I didn't either. I was still in shock as to what had all happened and still wondering how he was able to cross the 4 lanes of traffic so effortlessly.

When he finished I offered to pay him some money for his efforts. He responded with a simple "no thank you." I told him that he was my miracle that I had prayed for and said "you must be an angel". He just looked at me, smiled, and said "you have a nice day now."
With that, he darted back to his truck and drove off. I was to never see him again.

As I drove off, I thanked God for answering my prayer. For sending this unlikely stranger at an unexpected time to rescue an unnerved me!

I'm so thankful that he's my constant source of stability and strength. That I can rest secure in him because he shields me all day long. This story could have ended a lot differently. In fact, when I think about all the possibilities, it gives me a funny feeling in my stomach.

What about you? Have you ever been in a situation where God rescued you from a really bad situation. I'd love to hear about it.

Tennis Tizzy

I absolutely LOVE tennis! I've only been playing for a year and a half but I'm completely hooked. It's the perfect sport which delicately balances great cardio, social connections, suntanning opportunities and fashion sense (those tennis outfits are so cute).

In January, I did the unthinkable. I signed up for a U.S.T.A. League. This meant I would actually play competition style tennis against women I didn't even know. No more playing the same girls in doubles week after week. This was the big leagues... or so I thought.

I joined a local team with 18 other women from my area. Several of them I already new so this league thing was getting off to a very good start. I purchased my team outfit, bought a new racquet (on clearance) and some new tennis shoes (clearance too). I was ready, armed and dangerous.

After weeks of anticipation, I received my very first league email that listed the line up for that week. I couldn't wait to open it up and see who I was partnered with. To my surprise, I wasn't even listed to play that week. "Bummer", I thought. I was told at sign ups that each player was guaranteed at least 4 games in the season. "I guess this is my off week", I reasoned in my head. Oh well, surely next week.

The following week's email came and once again I was not on the list. Wait one cotton picking minute! Something isn't right. Surely I should have played this week? Before I knew it, they all showed up at once... Doubt, Insecurity, Anger, Negativity, and Frustration. Where did ya'll come from? I refuse to listen to anything you have to tell me. I'm not interested. Hit the road and don't come back.

But to my surprise, they all came back, throughout the entire day and the entire week. Although I tried to fight it, questions swarmed through my head like bees in a beehive. "Did the team leader not like me?" "Was my tennis really bad and no one told me?" "Was joining this league a big mistake?" "Should I drop out now and avoid any further humiliation?"

Week three came. The email arrived. Once again, I'm not on the list. I'm so disappointed.

Up until that time, I had contained my feelings through a cherub like demeanor but not anymore. Now I was really ticked off. So I did what every female tennis player would obviously do. I emailed my team captain who had been sending out those horrible emails each week. I was polite and precise in my questioning and she responded with perfect answers that made complete sense.

So why then was I still feeling horrible inside? Why did I have this big lump of doubt and insecurity sitting on my shoulders? What would I do with all these feelings of frustration and anger? Well, I took them all to the Lord. I told him what happened (even though he already knew) and handed over all my hurts to him. This really wasn't about tennis and not getting to play. It was about my idea of being accepted by others. It was about my insecurities and past hurts. Although it seems foolish, even to me, God took my hurts and replaced them with His peace, perspective and love. When Friday rolled around (the day of our team's tennis match), I would certainly find out why he kept my name off the line up roster for that week.

Thursday morning I woke up feeling out of sorts. I had a bad headache and a slight sore throat but blamed it on the sudden weather change and went about my daily routine. By 3:00 pm, I was in bed with a heating pad and when Friday morning rolled around, I was as sick as a dog. The same Friday morning that I would have been scheduled to play my very first USTA league match.

As I lay in bed with a high fever and pounding headache, God whispered in my heart "This is why you weren't scheduled to play this week". At that moment, it all became clear to me. What I had perceived as an unfair decision was really God's way of protecting me. If my name would have been on the roster that week, I would have had to forfeit the game or tried to play while being sick. Neither choice would have been good. God, in his awesome love for me, kept me from having to make that tough decision by keeping my name off the roster all together.

Did I learn my lesson? You bet I did! Things do happen for a reason and if you are a child of God, I can guarantee it's with your best interest in mind. Nothing happens to us outside the Sovereign hand of God. He knows what he's doing and my job is to trust him even when it doesn't seem like things are going my way.

I'm not worried about next week's email and roster line up. Whether or not I play is irrelevant. What matters is that I put my complete trust in God's perfect plan for my life each day, regardless of the circumstances or outcome.