When the Load is Heavy

Just last week I had decided that it was time to clean out my office. I had collected way too many telephone books, pamphlets, magazines, books, and office supplies over the last year. If you'd look at my office, it would appear very tidy and clean... from a distance. What you wouldn't see is plethora of stuff hidden underneath my desk, in cabinet drawers and my office closet. Hidden but still there.

I went to the kitchen to retrieve a huge black trash bag, the 30 gallon hefty size, and returned to my office. It took about an hour to completely fill the trash bag. Through the process, I was amazed at how much stuff I had collected. Papers that were once considered very important to me where no long useful or needed. Books that I thought I'd want forever but no longer cared to keep. Pamphlets and magazines that I just had to have but were now dust collectors. Just STUFF that was taking up space.

I felt such a sense of freedom when I tied the knot on my completely full trash bag. It was as if I had shed 10 pounds of weight from my life. I went to carry the bag out to the trash but when I went to lift it up, I realized just how heavy it was. My office is in my basement, which meant I'd have to carry the bag up a long flight of stairs. This was not going to be an easy task.

As I headed for the stairway, Carson came running down the stairs to see where I had been for the last 60 minutes. When he saw me lugging the trash bag, he quickly say "Mom, let me get that for you."

A Good Idea vs. A God Idea - Part 2

Yesterday, I shared with you about the unexpected guests that showed up at my door the other day. It was a Realtor and potential client that were coming to view our home, which has been on the market for several months. I had no advance notice that they were coming and our home was in no way shape or form ready for this surprise showing.

After their little visit, I plopped down into my favorite chair and began asking God a bunch of questions. I sat and prayed for a while then pulled out my bible and began to read some scripture verses that had become my favorites over the last couple of weeks.

I started to think about all the stories I had recently heard from friends and relatives who were trying to sell, refinance or buy a new home. I wondered if we would be able to get financing since Keith is self employed. I wondered if finding another house meant our boys would have to switch schools. I thought about all the hard work involved in moving. The more I thought, the more discouraged I became.

I glanced back down at my bible and flipped through several pages in the book of Psalms. I some how ended up in 2 Samuel 7. It was there that I read a story about King David and how he longed to build a house for the Lord. It would be the permanent resting place for the Ark of the Covenant. When I read verse 11, it was as if a light went off in my head;

"The Lord declares to you that the Lord Himself will establish a house for you"

This verse in my bible was already highlighted, which meant I had read it before but today it had an entirely new and personal meaning to me. God was confirming in His Word that He would establish a house for us. I didn't need to wonder why God has allowed this untimely visit. I didn't need to worry about where we would live next. I didn't need to know all the details. All I needed to do was trust that He would take care of us. Here was my confirmation, right smack in the middle of 2 Samuel, that He would establish a home for us to live in.

What about your current situation? What area in your life are you asking God to establish for you? Here, try filling in the blanks below;

"The Lord declares to __________ that the Lord Himself will establish a ______ for you.

Maybe it's a new job you've been looking for.

Maybe it's a restored marriage.

Maybe it's a better relationship with your child.

Maybe it's a financial miracle.

Maybe it's your calling.

Whatever your situation. No matter what struggles you are facing. Trust God and know that He is establishing something good and everlasting in your life. You don't need to know all the details. Walk in faith, one step at a time, confidently knowing that whatever He establishes cannot be taken away or destroyed.

A Good Idea vs. A God Idea - Part 1

Well, our house has been on the market for three months now. When we originally listed our home with a realtor, I told my husband, "Don't expect it to sell overnight." At that time, I had no idea how true those words would be.

In the past, when we would decide to sell a home, we never used a realtor. We'd just stick a sign in our front yard and within two weeks a contract would be signed. Assuming the same thing would happen with our existing home was a big mistake.

Although I absolutely love our home and would like nothing more than to stay here forever, our finances or lack there of, has required us to make this difficult move.

Last Friday, we received an unexpected knock at our door. My husband had fallen asleep on our bed and I was folding a mound of clothes that some how ended up on my laundry table. The kids were out playing with friends and I hadn't gotten around to making my bed or straightening up around the house.

As I walked to the door, I could see two women standing on my front porch, peeking in through the glass windows. As I opened the door, I noticed that one was wearing a badge with her name on it. At first, I thought they were selling something but as the introductions were made, I could feel the muscles in the back of my neck begin to tighten.

These two women were actually a realtor and potential client that wanted to see our home... at that very moment! No notice. No advanced call saying that they were coming over. No scheduled appointment. Just a knock at the door and a simple request. Well, actually, it wasn't simple at all. I politely asked them to walk around the yard and give me a few minutes to tidy up. Then I flew into the bedroom, woke up Keith out of what appeared to be a very deep sleep and started shoving everything that was misplaced into dresser drawers and closets. Keith ran upstairs, while scratching his head in confusion, only to find that the kids hadn't made their beds either and the game room was an absolute mess!

While panic and pandemonium set in, I kept telling myself, "Just stay calm, just stay calm, just stay calm." The doorbell rang again and there they were, peeking through my windows again.

As I let them in, I apologized profusely and explained that I hadn't gotten around to cleaning up yet. I had a smile on my face but deep down inside, I was completely mortified. No woman wants unexpected company when their house is a wreck... at least, not this women.

The showing only lasted about 20 minutes but it felt like a hour. As I showed them around, the potential client peeked inside all of our closets and storage space. She even had a camera and was taking pictures.

As they left, I thanked them for coming and politely waved good-bye. I then calmly closed the door, walked into my kitchen, looked up to my ceiling with my hands waving and said "What was that for?" I walked over and plopped down into my cozy prayer chair. It was time for God and I to have a talk and I planned to do most the talking

"I just don't get it," I told Him. " You know that we're trying to put our best foot forward to sell our home. We want it to look perfect whenever a client or realtor comes over. We know that each showing is critical and could potentially be the sale we've been waiting for. Why would you allow someone to come over, totally unexpected, when our house is a mess? Is this what you wanted?"

Tomorrow, I'll share with you what God shared with me, after my little temper tantrum. But for now, let me ask you, does God ever do things so totally unexpected that you raise up your hands to Him and say "What was that for?"

Do you often times feel like you have a good plan or idea, one that is all perfect and tidy. Yet, along comes God, only to throw, what seems at the time, a wrench in everything?

Could it be that your good idea is not a God idea? Could it be that what seems to be His will is not His will at all? Could it be that your plan doesn't line up to His plan for you at all?

I'd love to hear what you think...

Table Talk - Part Two

"Slow down, your eating to fast!"

I was shocked as I watched my youngest son, Carson, scarfing down his food as if he hadn't eaten in a week.

Once again, it was dinner time. I had spent the last two hours preparing a southern style, home cooked meal, if I say so myself. Keith and I were still in the kitchen preparing our plates with all those delicious sides when I turned to see Carson "in motion". His fork was moving so fast, from his plate to his mouth, that it looked like some sort of new aerobic bicep exercise.

He spotted my glaring eyes, which by the way, my family calls the "burn a hole right through ya glare" and immediately smiled with that "oops, I'm busted" look on his face. He quickly put his fork down and by this time everyone was at the dinner table waiting for me. So, I returned to the task at hand - fixing my plate and heading towards the table.

As I got closer, I spotted Carson's plate and it was completely empty. We hadn't even said grace yet! Needless to say, I was completely frustrated. I asked Carson why he had eaten his dinner so fast and he said, "Mom, there's this great show on and I want to watch it. Can I be excused now?" I looked at Keith to see his response. Surely he'd say no. Instead, Keith gave Carson the nod and off he went to watch his t.v. show.

At that moment, I decided this wasn't a battle I was willing to fight. Although I didn't agree with Keith's decision, I realized this request was an exception and not the norm. Still, I felt a little sad all through dinner. I really wanted Carson to spend time with us as a family. This was our table talk time and I had been looking forward to it.

When dinner was over with and I was cleaning up the dishes, God whispered in my heart " Leah, I know your disappointed that Carson rushed through dinner so that he could watch t.v.. It's like when you rush through your quiet time with me to start on your to-do list for the day." Ouch!

Although it hurt, it was completely true. Often times, I do rush through my devotion time to get other things accomplished. I'm so anxious to move onto the next task at hand, as if my time with the Lord is a line item on my to-do list that needs to be checked off. To think that the God of the Universe sets aside time to spend with me and I'm so "busy" that I don't have time to be with him.

Do you find yourself rushing through your quiet time too?

Is your mind easily distracted with other thoughts when your trying to read through scripture?

Do you ever drift off into la la land while praying?

I'd love to know if you struggle with these things too.

Table Talk - Part One

One one my favorite things to do as a family is eat dinner together. With our crazy schedule, we rarely have breakfast or lunch as a family but dinner is different. We make it an absolute priority to be together around 6:00 p.m. every evening. It's become a wonderful tradition in our home that everyone looks forward too. In fact, even when Keith is traveling, the boys will ask just to make sure, "we are going to have dinner together, right?"

This dinner tradition is so important to us that when sports season rolls around, we often delay dinner until practice is over with. Many times this means eating at 8:00 or even 9:00 at night. My kids don't mind. They like staying up later on school nights. They think that's really cool. Now that we're in summer mode, I don't mind either.

There is just something special about sitting around the dinner table and talking about what everyone did that day. The most amazing conversations can be stirred by a simple question such as "What was the best part of your day?" or "What part of the day didn't you like?".

As parents, Keith and I have found ourselves in unexpected yet thankful moments when one of those questions will burst open a conversation where our children express their hidden dreams, secret hurts and even lingering fears about a particular topic. All this via a simple dinner conversation.

I once read a statistic which stated that families that ate together on a regular basis had better relationships and their children were more likely to stay out of trouble. This is not the reason why we have dinner together as a family every night but it sure is very encouraging.

When we've finished eating, most of the time we pull out a book which I purchased from Focus on the Family years ago. It kid friendly questions about the bible. Our boys take turns reading a question and then ask everyone at the table what they think the answer is. After everyone has gotten a chance to share their answer, one of our boys reads the correct answer and corresponding bible verse.

This produces even more question like "Well, what about this..." or "That's not what so-and-so thinks!" or "I thought the bible said this...?"

It's a lot of fun and we consider this our family devotion time. After all, we're all together, enjoying food and each others' company. I think it's the perfect setting for teaching God's principles to our children.

When we've completed our discussion on that particular question, one our boys put the date next to it as a reminder that we already covered it for future reference. One day this book will be completely filled with dates. Now that will be awesome!

There are some things I LOVE about our dinners together or what I like to call table talk. Tomorrow I'll share with you what I don't like about it.

What Now - Part Two

Yesterday, I shared with you my question to God about my accident.

"Lord, what are you trying to teach me?"

His response was simply this, "Surrender."

"Surrender what?"

As I sat still, God whispered in my heart that He did want to teach me about resting in Him but in order to do that successfully, I needed to learn how to surrender first.

Surrender to the fact that I my routine would have to change for a while.

Surrender to the fact I would not be able to accomplish as much as I had before.

Surrender to the fact that I'd have to rely on my boys to pick up after themselves and not pick up and straighten their rooms for them.

Surrender to the fact that I wouldn't be able to serve my husband with home cooked means but that he would be the one serving me has he cooked and cleaned up after dinner every night.

Surrender my time.

Surrender my plan.

Surrender control.

There was that word again.... C-O-N-T-R-O-L.

Something I have struggled with all my life. I have feeling God is going to teach me a lot over the next few weeks while I ice, elevate, medicated, rest and surrender.

What about you? Does surrendering come easy for you? Are you a controlling person like me? What has God shown you in His word or taught you through life experiences that has allowed you to relinquish unhealthy control patterns in your life. I'd love to know.

What Now - Part One

Well, it's been 11 days, 2 hour and 36 minutes since my foot injury (not that I'm counting).

I headed back to the Dr. office yesterday for my follow-up visit.

The first question my doctor asked me was "how are you feeling?" My response was, "The strangest thing has happened."

I shared with him how I had been so good about icing, elevating and medicating my foot. How I was following ALL the rules. I proudly displayed my foot and boasted about how the swelling had gone way down. The only problem was that the pain in my foot had increased significantly and I didn't know why. I was experiencing more pain than on the day of my accident. The doctor started asking me some questions and it didn't take long for him to figure out what was going on.

Although I was icing, elevating, and medicating, I was also spending way to much time walking around on my wounded foot. Sounds ridiculous... I know! Although I was instructed to "take it easy and stay off of my foot", I was having a hard time actually doing it. I didn't mind all the icing, elevating and medicating but I didn't want to give up some other things that were important to me. I was still attempting bible study, meetings at church, picking up around the house, fixing dinner, driving my boys to sports activities, and even a secret trip to the grocery store. All on my injured foot!

Since I couldn't be trusted, my doctor ordered crutches for me and gave strict instructions to actually use them - everyday - all the time. Just when I thought my routine had been limited to the tenth degree, here was just another restriction and it was a big one.

This morning I poured out my heart to God in total frustration. I already knew that He was trying to teach me the art of resting through this whole accident and healing process. I really was trying to rest as much as I could. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. I had cut way back on my normal responsibilities. Why wasn't it enough!

Now, I would have to have to tote around these cumbersome stupid crutches. People stare at you when you're using crutches. I didn't want anyone noticing me, let alone staring at me! It's almost been two weeks and I'm in worse shape than when I started!

I wasn't a happy camper by any stretch of the imagination.

Fortunately, God allowed me to blow off some steam. I'm so thankful that He's full of grace and mercy. After all, He could have fried me for acting like such a spoiled little brat.

After I had my little moment, I got real quiet and asked again, "Lord, what are you trying to teach me?"

I'll tell you what his response was in tomorrow's post :)