About two weeks ago, Renee and I were at a women's event in Sumter, S.C. and I woke up in the middle of the night with a racing heartbeat. It was REALLY weird and I thought to myself "I think my heart is just gonna jump out of my chest, right here and right now!" I was hoping it would subside but after several minutes, I contemplated whether or not to wake Renee up. After all, this may not have a happy ending.
Now, Renee was scheduled to speak 3 one hour sessions the next day. We had been driving all afternoon, went straight to the church for sound checks and got to bed really late. Plus, Renee is a super light sleeper so the idea of waking her up shortly after midnight made my heart race even faster. What if she couldn't get back to sleep and was exhausted the next morning? I didn't want anything to come between her and a rest-filled night. However, an overwhelming thought kept pounding in my head which was "wake up Renee and have her lay hands on you, NOW!" So I did exactly that.
She was so groggy yet so graceful as she prayed for me. After a couple of minutes an overwhelming peace came upon me and my heart settled down. We talked about it the next morning and felt like it was definitely spiritual warfare but she said "promise me that you're going to make an appointment with your doctor when you get home". So I did.
My doctor was incredibly nice. She's about my age so we hit it off right away. First, we talked details as to why I was there. As I shared my incident, she said "Leah, that is a classic panic attack". What? A panic attack? Actually, I had had panic attacks years ago (I'll save that for another post) but they felt completely different than this.
As we talked some more, our conversation went from physical to spiritual. I started sharing with her about my faith in God. She then shared with me a story about one of her patients who was a woman in her 90's. The question was asked to this 90 year old "What is your secret to a long life?" The woman responded and said "every night when I go to bed, I lay my head on my pillow and give all my problems to God".
We talked about casting our cares upon the Lord because he cares for us, and if he provides for the birds of the air and the flowers of the fields, He will most certainly provide for us. What started out to be a routine appointment turned into a God appointment. I no longer felt like she was the doctor and I was the patient but that we were two Christian women connecting on a common love for the Lord. Is was so neat!
I love when God takes my ordinary daily assignments and turns them into extraordinary divine assignments. I have a whole new appreciation for my doctor now. She's not only someone I can talk to about my physical well being but someone I can share my faith with too.
Hi Leah,
ReplyDeleteI came over here from Renee's site. I had a few minutes while the kids were in the bath to do a bit of reading (not too long, there is too much splashing in there!!!).
I just wanted to say, first of all, how great that you were able to connect with your doctor so well. I wish I was able to do that! What a blessing.
I also wanted to say that I have panic attacks sometimes, and suffer from anxiety and depression. Lately things have gotten tons better after finishing up just over a year of counseling... God has been so faithful in healing! Miracle of miracles considering the things I have had to process through.
Anyway, what I wanted to say here was, that I can tell when I am dealing with general anxiety and see where my mind is going... when I am working myself up, and can usually head it off at the pass. But the enemy has also taken advantage of this weakness (I think some of it may be chemical) by sneaking in there when I am not aware, and really wreaking havoc in my life. There have been panic attacks at the most inopportune moments... usually times when I am going to learn a lot from God, and when He really speaks to me. I have learned that prayers help loads, especially someone praying for me specifically, like you found with Renee. I have also, in my case found that it is necessary to have some of my medication too... sometimes... it depends on the situation...
All this to say, I really enjoy your writing, and thank you for sharing your experience... I heard Renee's side of it on her blog, and had to come over here and comment. I know I can speak for many women when I say, it really means a lot having others be open with what they are struggling with... it makes us feel that we are not so alone in our struggles, whatever they may be. I have learned transparency can be such a healer, for myself as well as others, when I am willing to be open and share. That's a big part of what my blog has been about, I started it just over a year ago, when I was in the middle of counseling, and it has become a record of sorts of my healing.
God has been so good.
I will keep you in my prayers!
God bless,
Heather