It's right about that time again. The t.v. channels are filled commercials chanting those "Summer is almost here" jingles. The stores are loaded down with beach towels, swimsuits, suntan lotion and new garden supplies. It's not even April 1st but every one's gearing up for Summer... especially my boys. Unfortunately, they have two and a half more months of school and they're not very happy about it.
This week Brody (our oldest son) is off for Summer break but Carson's (our younger son) Summer break doesn't start until until next week. I know, it sort of stinks, but unfortunately our boys go to two different schools which means different schedules and different vacation days. We'll have to give up the idea of a Spring vacation for the second year in a row but honestly, what my boys enjoy most about Spring break is staying up late, not having a set schedule, sleeping in, and not having homework. Basically, not going to school for a whole week!
This morning Carson woke up so grouchy. He knew that Brody was soundly sleeping in his room next door and the idea that Carson had to go to school was more than he could bear. He grumbled through breakfast, fussed his way up the stairs when I told him to go get dressed (for the third time) and whined his way out the door to the bus stop.
At first, I was trying so hard to be compassionate, sympathetic, and understanding but by the time he left the house I was completely spent and wanted to hit somebody!
Carson wanted what his brother had. He desperately longed to stay home from school like everyone else. He was totally frustrated and wasn't shy in letting me know about it. Carson was feeling left out and unhappy with his circumstances. Carson's heart was aching and he wanted someone to fix it. Bottom line...Carson wanted someone to give him permission to stay home too. Well, that surely was going to happen, not today that is.
When he walked out the front door I said "I love you Carson" but there was dead silence until I heard to door slam shut. My heart sank as I watched him walk to the bus stop with his head hung low and his backpack dragging behind him in the wet grass. I watched from the window to see if maybe he would talk with the other children while they waited for the bus but he didn't. He just stood there, motionless, quiet, and very unhappy.
As I sat quietly, looking out the window with my warm cup of coffee in hand, I began to pray for Carson. As I did, God whispered in my heart "sometimes you act like that too". It wasn't in a condemning tone but sort of like "I'm just bring this to your attention" tone. I had to agree with Him too.
Sometimes I do long for what someone else has. I can become totally frustrated and not shy about letting everyone else know how about it. I can feel left out and unhappy with my current circumstance. My heart aches and I desperately want someone to fix it. I want someone to give me what I long for but that doesn't always happen.
Yes, sometimes I do act the same way that Carson acted this morning and ya know what? It doesn't look pretty, impressive, or cute.
I'm so thankful that my heavenly Father does a better job at parenting than I do. He's always patient when I throw my little temper tantrums. He never stops encouraging me with words of affirmation and love. He is always compassionate and understands what I'm going through. He may not always give me exactly what I ask Him for but His decisions are always based on what is best for me.
What about you? Now lets be honest, o.k.?
Do you ever want what someone else has?
Do you sometimes feel left our or imagine that everyone else has it so much better than you do?
Are you unhappy with your circumstances and want to take a "Summer Break" from life for a while?
Do you become frustrated at times and wear your emotions on your sleeve so that everyone can see them?
Do you have days where your heart aches and you long for someone to fix it?
If so, I'd encourage you to take your concerns to Jesus and let him help you process them one at a time. He can handle it and wants to encourage you today. Jesus longs to spend time with you and show you how much He loves you.
He will never become impatient and tired of listening to you. He will never be too busy or interrupt you because He has something more important to take care of. He probably won't give you everything you ask of Him but His decisions are always based on what's best for you.
Jesus is that someone who we can take our aching hearts and mend them. He is full of compassion, understanding and gives us the mercy we need. He grants us His grace, love, perspective and peace in the midst of our trials. All we have to do is ask Him.
Jesus longs to be that someone you so desperately are looking for. Will you ask Him for help today? He is patiently waiting...
Monday, March 29, 2010
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Leah,
ReplyDeleteHello! Yes come on summer - it's 70 here and the kids were ready to set up the pool! But as for the point of your post - yeah, I've been there. I just told a friend yesterday that is one of the biggest challenges of parenting - being frustrated with their behavior only to have God remind me I do the same thing as His child. Ouch!! Hope and pray all is well, Jill
Leah, what a beautifully written post. I can't tell you how many times I have lovingly (most of the time!) corrected my children to find that the very thing I am correcting I am also guilty of as well...
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my She Speaks scholarship application. I did not receive the scholarship but I am leaning towards going anyway. I hope to meet you!
Natalie at Mommy on Fire
http://www.mommyonfire.com
Hey- I'm visiting from Rivera's blog (http://riveradouthit.wordpress.com) and it's such a God thing that I read this blog this morning. I couldn't have put into words how my Monday went this past week, but your words summarize it best..."I can [did] become totally frustrated and [was] not shy about letting everyone else know how about it. I [felt] can feel left out and unhappy with my current circumstance. My heart aches[d] and I desperately want[ed] someone to fix it. I want[ed] someone to give me what I long for but that doesn't always happen."
ReplyDeleteAnd then you thew in a great list of questions...
Do you ever want what someone else has? I did this week!
Do you sometimes feel left our or imagine that everyone else has it so much better than you do? Yes, I'm insecure it at times, but Beth Moore and Jesus are helping me as I work through her book on insecurity!
Are you unhappy with your circumstances and want to take a "Summer Break" from life for a while? That sounds great some days!
Do you become frustrated at times and wear your emotions on your sleeve so that everyone can see them? Everyone who knows me knows I wear my emotions on my sleeve.
Do you have days where your heart aches and you long for someone to fix it? Yes, and sadly I too often look to others to make it all better instead of not being anxious and submitting my requests to God!!
Oh- what a great way to process this past week this morning! God has so much to show me and so many ways to grow me and although not always pleasant, I long to be shaped and molded into something better for HIS glory!!