Monday, March 22, 2010

When Really Good Friends Hurt You. (Part 1)

Have you ever been hurt by a really close friend?

Not a little hurt but really hurt?

Have you ever found yourself asking these types of questions...

Why would she say something like that to me?

How could they have done that. I thought we were friends?

He knew that I was struggling. Why didn't he help me?

This morning I'm licking some emotional wounds and asking those exact same questions.

About two months ago, a situation presented itself, things were said, and feelings were hurt. And, yes, those feelings belonged to me.

At first, I decided to go and talk with my husband, Keith. We are polar opposites in many ways, which can sometimes be good, because he helps me see things from a different perspective. Besides, the situation effected Keith also and talking through it helped us process the hurt we were both experiencing. Later on that day Keith seemed to be fine but I was still struggling...really struggling. So then I went to God.

I laid it all before Him. The good - the bad - the ugly. I told him my thoughts (even though He knew them already), shared how hurt I was by the things that were said, and actions that took place. I let Him know I was still struggling A LOT and asked Him to please take away the hurt. I felt as if I had a big open gash in my heart that was bleeding profusely and slowly becoming infected.

I wanted His peace to invade my heart and mind.

I wanted some closure to the situation so I could forget and move on.

I wanted to forgive but I just couldn't yet.

My struggle continued for a few weeks and every time the situation would come to my mind, I'd just hand it back over to God. He was so faithful to remind me each day of the mercy and grace He extends to me. Eventually I was no longer angry and hurt. Finally, closure had come. Or, so I thought.

I'll share the rest of my story tomorrow but I'm wondering if you've had a similar situation.

Maybe you're in the middle of something right now where a close friend has really hurt you without even knowing it. Or, maybe they said something, knowing it would hurt you, but said it anyway.

Maybe you thought a past wound was completely healed and that you had closure on the situation. All was fine and dandy, then when you least expected it, something happened, you're reminded of the encounter, and the pain comes rushing back like a flood.

There you are, left with a reopened gash in your heart. Your feeling hurt all over again, rejected, angry. Where did the peace go? What about the closure you once had?

If your feeling this way right now, can I pray for you today? I don't need to know the details if you'd prefer not to share them. After all, God knows the specifics and that's what really matters.

I want to experience peace and forgiveness in my situation but I also want you to experience it too. Let's agree to pray together over our hurts and burdens. Let's hand them over to God so that He can heal your broken hearts and restore peace to our days. All we have to do is ask Him and I know He will be faithful.

Hugs & prayers,


  1. O Leah, I was there before. In fact it happened to be around my wedding time that this happened and it was with my maid of honor. O it was painful and horrible. My wedding day came and went she was still in the wedding but for the reasons that she didnt want to spoil my day. I understood but at that time I wasnt gonna let anyone spoil the day or anything.

    All because of someone saying something that was untrue, adlibbed, and misunderstood and instead of correcting it or confronting it, it echoed from one person to an other and so on until it got blown out of proportion. The fiascal went on for over a year - actually is was pushing 3 years before it really was resolved by the two of us because alot of people intercepting to make it worse, alot of stubborness all around and the Lord was growing me as well as her during this time.

    Not only did we resolve it, it made our friendship stronger and we are stronger in God. So that should an event like this incur again, We could nip it the right way in the beginning and not let it feed there out.

    God sent many words of encouragement through people and scripture and Himself. All was necessary for what ever lay ahead in my path and hers as well. Which in deed we both understood why it happened later on as we were able to use our testimony for others in this same situation and or similar.

    The pain hurts and is deep but Lean on Him, this is a time of growing for one reason or another, all will pan out in the end to Give God the Glory.

    Praying for clarity, a discerning spirit and sound mind. Rest in the peace of God surrounding you and allow him to continue the works that he is soon to finish in you, through you and all involved.

  2. I have been and in some ways, am still dealing with this situation. It has been painful, especially because this friend refuses to allow any resolution or discussion of our problems and was my first dearest, close sister in Christ. I continue to pray for her, but have had to recognize the friendship was not what I maybe thought it was. I look forward to Part 2.


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