Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Doubt is the Flip Side of Faith

I'm writing today while propped up in bed with my feet gently placed on two king sized feather pillows. Now, don't jump to any conclusions. I'm not a lady of leisure who sits around all day watching soap operas and eating Dove chocolate bars. In fact, I'm quite the opposite. I'm a person who loves activity. I'd go as far to say that I thrive on it. My idea of a great day is not laying in bed with my feet propped up but a day filled with lots a things on my to-do list. The more items on my list that get checked off the better.

So why am I in bed? Well....

This morning I twisted my ankle while playing tennis, hence the propping and feather pillows. Fortunately, one of my tennis partner's is a physical therapist and quickly diagnosed my problem while I laid on the tennis court holding my foot and trying to keep from throwing up. Another tennis partner had a connection with an orthopedic doctor and was able to get an appointment for me within an hour's time.

My husband drove me to the doctor's office where I athletically hopped on one foot to the receptionist desk, still in my tennis skirt and one tennis shoe. Secretly I wanted to cry but I decided to play it cool - like I had it all together. I figured it was just a bad sprain which has happened numerous times before. A couple of days in bed and I'd be back to normal. All I needed to do was stay positive, think happy thoughts, and everything would be honky dory.

When the receptionist finally called my name, I assured my husband that he didn't need to come into the room with me. I'd be just find and he could stay in the waiting area and watch their big flat screen t.v.. I told him that I'd be out in a few minutes, or so I thought.

After completing more paperwork and answering a few questions, I hopped my way down the hall and into the x-ray room. My x-rays were taken and now I just had to wait for the results. I intently studied the technician's facial expressions as she viewed my x-rays, trying to determine whether or not she could see if my foot was broken. She quietly mumbled a couple of "hummmms" and then escorted me back to my room without saying a word. Guess I was going to have to wait for the doctor to give me the results.

The wait was much longer than I had imagined and while I waited my happy thoughts and positive attitude began to diminish. Those familiar "what if", "what now", and "why" thoughts started to float around in my mind.

What if my foot was broken? What now that school is over and the kids would be home? Why did this have to happen to me? What if my foot is broken? Will I need a big cast and crutches? What about our family vacation next month? Will I have to cancel our plans?

All these thoughts began to swarm around in my head like bees hovering around a bee hive. As I sat staring at the floor with my foot throbbing and my hands cupping my face, two words popped into my mind. Those two words were "look up".

Look up?

Again, those two words popped into my head. "Look up!" So, I did and four feet away from me was a huge frame on the wall. In the center of the frame was a beautiful pastel patch work art piece and the words below it read

Doubt is the flipside of Faith

As I read those words, God whispered into my heart. Leah, what are you going to choose? Doubt or Faith? You can't have both.

I read it again.

Doubt is the flip side of Faith

How could I have missed that frame when I came into that room? I had been sitting there for over 15 minutes, the art piece was huge, and it had been there the whole time! How could I have missed something so obvious?

All of a sudden, the answer was clear. For I had become so filled with fear and doubt that my eyes were blinded to the truth. Although the truth was right in front of me, it had been hidden by a blanket of "what if's" and "why me" questions. Now, God was asking me to make a choice. Would I choose to doubt him or have faith in Him.

Doubt is the flip side of faith

When I realized what had just happened and how God chose to reveal himself to me in such a real and personal way, my heavy heart was replaced with joy.

I whispered back to him "God, I choose faith!"

I started rehearsing in my mind all the scripture verses I knew about God's faithfulness and provision. I began to tell him how thankful I was that my accident wasn't worse and that I'd trust him no matter what the test results would reveal.

When the doctor finally came in, he said my x-rays showed there were no breaks or fractures in my foot. Although I had torn some ligaments and my recovery would not be a quick one, there would be no need for a cast or crutches. Only a light material boot cast would be needed for me to wear.

As I hopped my way back to the reception area, I did so with a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to tell my husband what had happened and how God showed up in my time of need. He challenged me to choose and choose I did because....

Faith is the flip side of Doubt.


  1. "Life and pain are synonymous. You cannot have one without the other. Pain is a fact of life in this fallen world, and we cannot escape it. In fact, the goal in life is not to get away from the pain of it, but to endure through it, in fact, to triumph over it, while learning the lessons only pain can teach us." Charles R. Swindoll

    "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart." Psalm 73:26

  2. Snowy,

    Thanks for that amazing quote from Charles Swindoll. Certainly puts things into perspective.


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